Wedding

About the girl a guy wants to marry, the guy’s parents previously collected accurate information, avoiding families where they suffer from severe physical or mental illnesses, theft, drunkenness or other vices.

The main actor in the matchmaking was the matchmaker. This was a woman who was eloquent. She could be a relative of the guy or a complete stranger to him.

Matchmakers sat down on a bench near the door and waited for an invitation to the table. It was impossible to say directly about the purpose of his arrival — it meant spoiling the whole ceremony, so they started from afar. "Hello, hosts! We walked a difficult road, we walked through dark forests, we walked through wide fields. We are tired, we are frozen. Oh, we didn’t walk in vain! The good fellow fell in love with the red maiden, his heart aches, he dries alone, like grass on burning sand…"

The girl’s parents asked for her consent. If the girl did not agree, the parents informed the matchmakers about it: "Oh, she’s still young! She hasn’t played enough dolls yet! Yes, we don’t even have a dowry …" If the girl agrees, the matchmakers shook hands, agreed. Otherwise it was called "collusion". Hence one of the names of the betrothed girl is "conspiracy". The parents of the girl and the guy set the wedding day. In traditional Russian culture, weddings usually fell during late autumn, starting with the Intercession or were performed in winter.

Future relatives also discussed the organization of the wedding itself. If the girl was from a poor family, then the groom’s parents took over the wedding arrangements. If the families were equal in wealth, they were folded.

The girls got married with a dowry. The dowry included a feather bed, pillows, shawl, dresses, pieces of fabric and more. Sometimes people could even get a cow and a horse with a girl.

There have been "runaway" weddings. It was not always a voluntary abduction of the bride, with the tacit consent of the parents of both parties. For example, a girl from a poor family went to work in a rich house. She was married as an orphan.

The bachelorette party was held the evening before the wedding. At the bachelorette party, special songs were sung expressing the girl’s parting with her freedom.

On the eve of the wedding, the girl was taken to the bathhouse, where she was washed with tears and lamentations, as they wash the deceased. Her friends unwound her braid and "chewed" her.

Have a drink, dear friends,
For the first and last time,
About girlish beauty,
About the silk braid.

After that, the hair was braided like a woman and put under a shawl or veil. From now on, only her husband will see her hair.

It was obligatory before the wedding to "wash" the bride. She cried at the "evening dawn of Maremyana and at the morning dawn of Maria." She was saying goodbye to the free girl’s life, going to strangers, to someone else’s side.

The girlfriends went home to come the next morning to clean her up for the wedding.


Dressing before the wedding

The girl was dressed in a white dress and called "the bride" (not much, something, she is no longer a free girl with her parents, then she is not a married woman, she is on the way). The bride’s white dress is like a dead woman’s shroud, and a wedding is like a funeral. A girl must ritually "die" in order to be "born" in a new capacity — a married woman.

The wedding dress was also accompanied by singing songs. The bride was placed in front of the mirror in a place of honor and dressed.

On the wedding day, the groom came (the groom is the one who goes after his wife). Guests and a "friendy" came with him. A friendy is not just a friend of the groom, but a wedding wizard who made sure that the young ones were not jinxed.

The bride was hidden and the groom was forced to redeem her. The groom went into the fence — bought at the gate, went into the house — bought in the hall. As a ransom (bridesmaids), handkerchiefs, cheap rings, gingerbread, sweets, money and wine were suitable.

In the bride’s house, the groom and the guests sat down at the table. After a small feast, we went to get married.

The friendy was vigilantly watching so that the wedding would not be ruined. He was checking to see if there was salt or river sand on the porch. He examined the collars, the harness: if there were any thorns, burrs or animal hair, from which the horses snore and do not go.

If everything is in order, then they boarded the wedding "train" and after the blessing of the young bride’s parents they went to church.

The bride’s parents blessed the young people, while the bride said goodbye to her parents, and the wedding train went to the church. If the rain dampens the wedding train, they said, it’s lucky, because it promises grace and abundance.

During the wedding, whoever is the first of the newlyweds to step on the foot will rule the house.

The young people were led to the lectern, and the priest began the wedding ceremony.

If the newlyweds' wedding candles burn quietly or evenly, it promises them a quiet and peaceful life. Whichever of them burns out the wedding candle earlier, he will die earlier. The crown is not put on the bride’s head, the people consider such a marriage invalid, illegal, and portends trouble.

If the bride drops the handkerchief under the crown, and the groom picks it up, he will soon die.

At the blessing of matrimony, the priest put on rings for the newlyweds, then tied his hands with a white cloth and led them around the lectern. When performing this rite, he gave them red wine to drink three times. After the wedding, the young couple kissed. Relatives and friends congratulated them.

Every movement of the young people when leaving the church was noticed and interpreted in their own way by the old women.

After the wedding, the wedding train went to the groom’s house with whooping, whistling, chiming of bells. The train was greeted with gunshots. They also shot during the feast, saying: "What a good wedding, what a beautiful bride."

The young people were met by the groom’s mother, who took out a loaf. A loaf is a symbol of giving shares. It needed to be broken off piece by piece.

As soon as the young people entered the house, the old women locked the lock behind them so that the marriage was strong. The lock was thrown under the porch, and the key was thrown into the well.

In the groom’s house, everyone sat down at a common table, usually L-shaped. The young people were put in the front corner, flanked by their parents, relatives and acquaintances.

The space near the table was free for games and dancing. The wedding was conducted and "sung" by specially invited songwriters. The songs were different: both funny and sad. The songwriters were rewarded with gifts, nuts, gingerbread and sweets for their work. The groom took out a quarter of vodka or money to shoot under the windows.

In the old days in Siberia, it was customary to rock guests, sometimes with chairs, and the wife sat on her husband’s lap and rocked with him. At the same time, the rockers said: "Neither a leaf nor a grass spreads, nor a violent head sways." After that, the question followed: "Are you giving or gilding?". If the guest answered "I give", then he had to treat the rockers with vodka, if he answered "I gilde", then with money.

Even during the fun, the young people were taken away for their wedding night, while the guests remained feasting, often until dawn. The bride’s veil was removed (a symbol of girlhood), the singers sang the last song. For the wedding night, the young were given non-residential premises, for example, a barn. They were accompanied by a matchmaker and a matchmaker. The groom’s mother was laying a clean white sheet for them. A friend with a saber was guarding near the hayloft so that the bride and groom would not be spoiled.

After a while, the young people came to check on them, to find out "how things had become with them." The bride’s shirt and a sheet were brought out to the guests.

If the bride is honest, then the guests beat pots with joy and had more fun than ever. If the bride turned out to be not a virgin, then ashes from the stove, coal and any rubbish were poured on the floor in front of the guests, and a yoke was put on the bride’s father. The groom could refuse her and stop the festivities, after that the bride’s family was considered disgraced.

The wedding night was the culmination of the wedding. After this ceremony, the woman was no longer a bride, but a young wife.